We are excited to celebrate our LGBTQ+ communities during Pride Month in June. This can also be a great time to start a conversation with your student about gender and sexuality.
乐播传媒 typically start figuring out who they are, who they are attracted to and how they want to express themselves during adolescence and young adulthood. Having a supportive and open family can make all the difference in a student鈥檚 academic performance, mental health, self-esteem and quality of life. In fact, families can play a key role in helping students navigate their identity in a positive and healthy way.
If you鈥檙e not sure how to broach the subject or need guidance on where to begin, these tips can help you make the most of your conversations.
Do your homework
Preparing for conversations in advance can make us feel more comfortable in the moment and help us avoid unintentional misunderstandings. Before you sit down with your student, try to do your homework first. Familiarize yourself with common terms and concepts related to sex, gender identity and sexual orientation.
Here are a few basics to help get you started:
What is sex?
厂别虫听typically refers to our sex assigned at birth based on one鈥檚 genitalia, reproductive anatomy or chromosome makeup. While sex can describe terms like 鈥渕ale鈥� and 鈥渇emale,鈥� it鈥檚 important to remember that some people are born 鈥渋ntersex,鈥� meaning that they may have both male and female anatomy or ambiguous anatomy.
What is gender?
骋别苍诲别谤听represents the societal construct of norms and expectations related to sex. While gender is often viewed as a binary with only two choices (man or woman), many people have a more complex relationship with their gender or feel that their experiences do not conform to any single gender group.
What is sexuality?
厂别虫耻补濒颈迟测听(also known as sexual orientation) refers to a person鈥檚 romantic, sexual or emotional attraction to others. Individuals may be attracted to the same gender, another gender, all genders, or they may not experience sexual or romantic attraction at all. Common terms that describe sexuality include gay, lesbian, straight, asexual and bisexual, though there are many others.
聽is a great resource if you would like to brush up on additional terms related to gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation. It鈥檚 also important to keep in mind that some terms used in the past may be improper or outdated to use now. Take some time to ensure you鈥檙e using the proper terminology and allow your student to correct you if they are uncomfortable with a specific term.
While preparing in advance can help us kick off the conversation, it鈥檚 also okay if you don鈥檛 know or understand everything you read. Don鈥檛 be afraid to be honest with yourself and your student about the things you don鈥檛 know or don鈥檛 understand. In fact, being open and curious can provide you with more opportunities to engage your student, ask questions and learn about how they view or experience these topics in their life.
Take your time
While Pride Month is a great opportunity to start the conversation with your student, it鈥檚 also important to look for other opportunities throughout the year to engage with them and discuss important topics related to their experiences and identity. Similarly, don鈥檛 worry about having one big conversation with your student. Instead, focus on ways that you can break it up into multiple conversations that may feel less overwhelming. Remember, it鈥檚 also okay to start the conversation, take a break and come back to it another time if needed.
Approaching the topic
Forcing a conversation without permission can be off putting and feel invasive, especially for LGBTQ+ students. Instead, create emotional safety and look for natural opportunities to have a conversation.聽If a student discloses an identity to you, or talks about gender and sexuality, invite them to talk with you further. Let them know that you鈥檇 be open to discussing gender and sexuality, and that you have interest in knowing them as a person. Be mindful of your own identities and assumptions. Take some time to determine if having this conversation would be in service of and helpful for your student. Many of these conversations happen informally, between scheduled events. For instance, you can chat over coffee, go for a short walk or talk over a meal. However, if your student prefers, you can schedule a time and space to talk further.
Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions can help you better understand your student鈥檚 views, opinions and experiences. It also gives you both an opportunity to deepen the conversation, ask follow-up questions and share your perspectives.
Here are a few example questions that you can ask your student:
- Are there any terms or combinations of terms that you identify with more when you think about your own identity? (e.g. male, female, nonbinary, agender, gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, etc.)
- Tell me about your experience in this identity. What has been stressful and what has gone well?
- Where are you at in sharing this identity with other people?聽聽
- What is it like to be at CU with this identity?
- Is there anything I can do to help you feel more supported and comfortable in your identity?
Listen without judgment
Allow your student to speak and share their personal experiences or opinions without judgment. If you鈥檙e uncertain about something, ask follow-up questions to get a better understanding of what your student is saying. Try to avoid formulating a response while they鈥檙e speaking or interrupting them before they鈥檙e finished. Approaching the conversation with genuine curiosity and willingness to listen can help you both understand each other better.
Lean in
If your student opens up to you about a piece of their identity, lean into the moment. Let them know that you support them and appreciate their vulnerability in sharing this piece of their life with you. If your student isn鈥檛 comfortable opening up, let them know that you support them and you will be there for them if they ever need someone to talk to. Keep in mind that the conversation doesn鈥檛 have to go perfectly to be meaningful. Give yourself and your student grace when discussing potentially sensitive topics. The most important thing is to let your student know that you love them and are there for them.
Offer support
If your student is struggling or wants to explore their gender and sexuality more, there are support resources available on campus.
Pride Office
The CU Boulder Pride Office helps LGBTQ+ students, staff and faculty find belonging and community at CU. They聽strive聽to empower LGBTQ+ people to embody their identities with pride and celebrate their experiences as part of the greater LGBTQ+ community.
Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS)
CAPS聽offers confidential mental health services for students, including:
- Letters of support and documentation required for transition, including hormone therapy and surgery.
- Workshops that provide an聽inclusive and affirming space for students to explore their identity.
- Therapy groups where students can talk through their experiences with peers.
- Confidential consultations related sex, gender and sexual orientation.
Medical Services
Recognized as a聽, Medical Services provides comprehensive and affirming medical care for LGBTQ+ students, including:
- Sexual and reproductive health services
- Hormone therapy
- Post-operative and post-surgical care
- Interdisciplinary TransCare team
- Insurance coverage for LGBTQ+ services, including hormone therapy and surgery
OVA聽works to create a safer, more socially just and supportive campus community by providing culturally relevant trauma response and prevention services. OVA provides free and confidential information, consultation, support, advocacy and short term counseling services to 乐播传媒 Boulder students, graduate students, faculty and staff who have experienced a traumatic, disturbing or life disruptive event.
Don't Ignore It
Don鈥檛 Ignore It is a web resource that provides options for seeking confidential support on and off campus, skills for helping others and reporting options related to sexual misconduct, harassment and discrimination.
Recreation Services
The Rec Center provides an inclusive and welcoming community for students to聽stay active and build community. They offer LGBTQ+ services and opportunities, including:
- Gender neutral locker rooms
- Inclusive Rec programs and events that cater to a wide range of intersectional identities
- Adaptive Sports and Recreation programs that provide inclusive events for students with disabilities