Summer break can be a great time to reconnect with your student. College is often a time when students are able to practice independence, and they may need support readjusting to life at home with their family. If your student is returning home for the summer, here are a few things you can do to help them prepare for their visit home.
1. Give them a heads up about changes at home
Has a sibling moved into your student’s room? Is there a new pet in the family? Are there any other changes that may surprise your student? Prepare them for any changes at home by letting them know about it before they arrive.
2. Review expectations
After spending time away from home in college, your student may not know what is expected of them at home when they return or may not be in the habit of being accountable to others. One way to avoid conflict or misunderstandings is to share your expectations with them before they come home. Consider letting them know what you expect of them when it comes to laundry, dishes, household chores, time at home, curfews, etc.
It’s also a good idea to discuss family plans with your student and ask about their plans over break. Talk about how often you’d like to spend time together, and be prepared for resistance. Remember, many students are used to living independently and may have different ideas about how much time they’d like to spend at home. Consider planning a family night together with some of your shared favorite activities. This can be a good way to spend quality time together and catch up. It’s also okay if your student wants some time to themselves, and it’s sometimes necessary to help them decompress from school.
3. Get to know your student again
While your student may not have been away from home for that long, they are used to living on their own and may have new habits or views that impact your time together. Take some time to get to know your student again as an adult. Ask open-ended questions about the past year at school, what they’ve enjoyed most so far, who they will miss and what they might like to do in their free time.Â
Keep in mind that some students may be struggling more than others. This can be a good time to determine if your student needs additional support with academics, mental health, socializing, substance use or other concerns.
4. Make time for important conversations
Your student may need to have important conversations with you, especially if things have not been going well this semester. Here are some things you can do to have a healthy and productive conversation with your student, even when tough topics come up:
- Allow your student to share their view point without interrupting.
- Listen to your student without offering judgment or advice.
- Ask follow-up questions if you’re not sure you understand what your student is saying or if you think you may have missed something important.
- When sharing your point of view, speak from your own experience and perspective.
- Try to give your student grace and see things from their perspective rather than making assumptions.
- When an agreement is not possible, allow space for multiple truths.Â
Free parent handbook
Talking to our students about alcohol and drug use can help them clarify what choices are right for them. This free handbook providers information, tips and resources to help you have an effective conversation about alcohol and other drugs with your student.
Download a free copy of the Talking with College ÀÖ²¥´«Ã½ About Alcohol Handbook
5. Reach out for help
If you’re concerned about your student, there are support resources available to help.Â
Student Support and Case Management (SSCM) is available to provide individualized support to students. SSCM case managers connect students with campus partners, community resources and support systems, while also building a trusting relationship and coaching them toward self-advocacy.
SSCM supports students with varying extenuating circumstances, needs or personal life events that may impact their educational career. Some of the more common reasons to refer a student to SSCM include, but are not limited to:
- Concern for a student’s mental health
- Hospitalization (physical or mental health)
- Suicidal ideation
- Harm to self or others
- Loss of a loved one
- Family emergency
- Threatening behavior
Anyone can refer a student to the department by filling out the . Additional information on referring a student can also be found on the SSCM website.
It’s okay to be unsure if the student needs help. The severity of a student’s distress may be unclear, or you may be concerned about a student and don’t know how to move forward. The best way to help those students is by consulting them about the situation and referring them.Â
BONUS TIP: Schedule check-ups
If possible, consider scheduling doctor or dentist appointments while your student is home for break. This ensures they'll be ready to come back to campus (and won't forget routine care).